Originally Posted by Sojakai
Have you petted the dash and steering wheel and told BOB that you love him, and he is a good bus?
Actually, that's not a bad idea. When I make an appointment with the garage, I'll prep BOB by doing just that. If that doesn't work, I'll try taking apart the glow plug switch and hot-wiring it. Last night I remembered the original owner had to do that with the old switch, so replaced it for me before handing over the keys. We've had a lot of rain lately, and he said the windshield leaked, which caused the short. <shrug> Might be it. Might not. Might just be the "lesson of the month".
Which it may very well be. I keep waiting to see what's going to happen this month.
CAUTION: Emotional venting ahead. Read at your own peril.
Except for January, which started out innocent enough, 2009 has really sucked.
February, the week before my ex and I were to go on a big "getaway weekend", he told me he "wasn't happy" and wanted a divorce. I really thought we'd work it out, and was hoping the weekend away from the area would give us some time together that we desperately needed. Instead, he was already looking for a house.
March, my Grandfather, who I was very close to, fell gravely ill and died within the space of three weeks. I got down to Florida to see him for a week when they put him in the hospital, and when I left, was under the impression he was going to pull through. But when I got home, they said he worsened and had to move him in a hospice where he could pass in peace.
April, the ex gets a hysterical phone call on Friday from his first wife claiming she's about to be evicted and we absolutely MUST take the kids (2 girls) right this very minute
. After speaking with her for several minutes, the ex learned it wasn't such an emergency and he could pick the girls up on his regular day (Sunday), so we worked frantically to get a room cleared out and ready for them to live with us, spending more money than either of us could afford to buy bunk beds, sheets, etc. Turns out she wasn't being evicted, she just didn't want to take care of her children - both good kids - any more.
May, I became the "wicked stepmom". Not something I wanted to do, but when the kids started acting out and harming the house, which I am trying to sell, I started to enforce our rules. Unfortunately, the ex wasn't backing me up, so I became the constant bad guy for enforcing the restrictions. He would "say" he expected the rules to be followed, but would never follow through with the punishments, so effectively undermined both our efforts to provide some kind of structure to their already chaotic lives.
June, the ex moved into his new house. With the idea that he couldn't afford to buy new things, and I needed the house empty anyway to show to perspective buyers, I gave him practically everything. The washer/dryer, refrigerator, kitchen table & chairs, sofa, our big screen television & stand, and bed. That effectively cleaned out the house of all the furniture. I was buying BOB to live in anyway. Who needed the additional headache of trying to sell all that "stuff" once the house sold? I arranged to pick up BOB the same weekend he was moving so I wouldn't have to be there to witness a 9 year marriage walk out the door. I thought it would be easier that way. But coming home to a literally empty house hit me harder than I thought it would.
July, I get a call from my Aunt telling me Grandmother is in the hospital with heart problems - probably brought on by the stress of Grandaddy's death. I'm closer to Grandma than I was with Grandaddy, and this latest blow really wound me up tight. I don't know if I could handle three losses this year. They've put a pacemaker in to help regulate her heartbeat, so I can only cross my fingers and hope it helps her.
Now in August... Grandma was supposed to be here for a month's visit. Thank all that's Good, they caught her heart problem before flying out here, because if I came home from work and found her dead, I'd totally freakin' loose it. I'd fall apart. So... I'm waiting. I'm waiting to see what else is going to happen this month... and the next... I have to take one day at a time and just roll with it.
I have to believe in a greater purpose to all of this. I have to hope this constant pounding will forge me into something stronger instead of obliterate my will to keep going. And I have to pray that things will get better. The most destructive storms always pass, creating fertile ground for new growth. I gotta Believe... it will all work out. My remaining family and friends are very supportive, which is a Blessing. I just have to keep moving forward and not fall into the trap of looking back.
It's all any of us can do.