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Old 08-14-2013, 07:38 PM   #141
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Time NOT to laugh

Gasoline and diesel, ah yes. Probably like gasoline and kerosene. A little firefighter drill in the valley here over a decade ago was going to be the "controlled burn" of an old house that needed demolishing. Half a dozen adjoining departments were there to participate. A gallon or a couple of gas+kero in the basement, wait a while, and toss in highway flare. What could go wrong? . Everyone eventually recovered.
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Old 08-14-2013, 08:34 PM   #142
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Re: Time NOT to laugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redbear
Gasoline and diesel, ah yes. Probably like gasoline and kerosene. A little firefighter drill in the valley here over a decade ago was going to be the "controlled burn" of an old house that needed demolishing. Half a dozen adjoining departments were there to participate. A gallon or a couple of gas+kero in the basement, wait a while, and toss in highway flare. What could go wrong? . Everyone eventually recovered.
holy shiat!.(glad all were okay)
Someone shiat themselfs in that front yard...glad I am on toilet watching this
.
.wow...
.I could repeat "wirty dords" for a long,long time

So...never mind.....
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Old 08-15-2013, 10:19 PM   #143
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Re: Time NOT to laugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redbear
Gasoline and diesel, ah yes. Probably like gasoline and kerosene. A little firefighter drill in the valley here over a decade ago was going to be the "controlled burn" of an old house that needed demolishing. Half a dozen adjoining departments were there to participate. A gallon or a couple of gas+kero in the basement, wait a while, and toss in highway flare. What could go wrong? . Everyone eventually recovered.
DAAAANGGG!!! What happened to me wasn't contained, so it wasn't as explosive, but yes...definitely something to be said for that combo.
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:17 PM   #144
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Re: Time to laugh

From Conversion Discussion:
Quote:
Originally Posted by keith
bansil ,,u see them flat landers down there don;t have a sence of humur, like us mtn boy's do ,so it a no ball state..lol ..we like our corn liquoir and mtn oyster and women.......
I had "corn liquoir" once - in high school. A local farmer ran a vegetable stand, and his son my age drained off the liquid at the bottom of their silo and processed it. He once smuggled a Ball jar of his concoction into the senior coat room, and a select few friends were invited to go in one by one and try a sip during lunch. No one got caught.

His recipe smelled as bad as turpentine, but if you held your nose, it went down as smooth as satin.

That was decades ago, so I am sure the statute of limitations has run out.
Today, that farm boy is the Superintendent of Schools for the same town!
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:09 PM   #145
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Re: Time to laugh

Sent to me by a friend:


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”
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Old 08-24-2013, 11:40 AM   #146
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Re: Time to laugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Accordion
Sent to me by a friend:


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”

This reminds me of a time when I got pulled over once by the man. It had been a long day and he said I had been weaving a little. He asked me if I had anything to drink. Yes, I told the officer. I had a beer about 6 hours before with dinner at a Mexican restaurant. "What did you have", he asked. "The special", I said. "Not for dinner, what did you have to drink", he asked as he rolled his eyes. I know he wanted to add DUMMY to the end of the sentence.
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:55 AM   #147
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Re: Time to laugh

As history buffs you probably already know this forgotten
fact....



Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase 'You
Gotta Be Shittin Me'?

Well, it just so happens to have originated through the
Father of Our Country, way back when George Washington was
crossing the Delaware River with his troops.

There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat.
It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water
was tossing them about.

Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Peters (remember this
name) and stationed him at the front of the boat with a
lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could
see where they were heading. Corporal Peters, through
driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back
and forth, back and forth.

Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal
Peters and his lantern into the Delaware . Washington and
His troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find
Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible,
for the Corporal had been one of their favorites.

Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the
other side, wet and totally exhausted . He rallied the
troops and told them that they must go on.

Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see
lights ahead.' They trudged toward the lights and came upon
a huge house. What they didn't know was that this was a
house of Ill Repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who
came.

General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding
around him. The door swung open, and much to his surprise
stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across her face,
to see so many men standing there.

Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General
George Washington and these are my men. We are tired , wet,
exhausted , and desperately need warmth and comfort.'

Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and
with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you
have come to the right place. We can surely give you warmth
and comfort. How many men do you have?'

Washington replied , 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us
without Peters.'

And the Madam said, 'You gotta be shittin me.'
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Old 09-10-2013, 05:56 AM   #148
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Re: Time to laugh

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No, ma'am, they are dead."
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:03 PM   #149
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Re: Time to laugh

I am visiting my friend in Tucson Arizona. It is summer. It is HOT.

I am in the guest bedroom. I have no shirt on. I am trying to sleep.

I hear a funny flapping sound in the room.

Suddenly I feel the contact landing of what I presumed to be a VERY LARGE insect.

I shrug in horror and then hear the swooshing of bug wings.

I jump out of bed and turn the light on.

There, on the desk is a four inch long black beetle type bug.

I stare at it in amazement. It lifts off and heads in my direction.

I karate chop it into a dizzying spiral to the floor.

I enclose it with tumbler sized glass and slide a piece of cardboard under the glass.

I wake my friend up and show him this creature.

He says, OH YEAH, they're all over here.

The next day I had left to continue my journey across the U.S., hoping I had left the land of the BIG BUGS.
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Old 09-15-2013, 07:35 PM   #150
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Re: Time to laugh

Quote:
Originally Posted by Accordion
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
Quote:
Originally Posted by ol trunt
Same woman today would have slapped you silly!
My wife might have clocked him one.
The whole world is paranoid today. It is a shame.
All I will say is: for her, it is NOT paranoia.
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