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Old 08-23-2016, 09:45 PM   #1
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A cute co-worker.......

Called me an a$$hole today!

I told her "if you say gullible 3 times real fast, it sounds like Oranges"

She did it.... And said "no, it doesn't"

I said "I haven't done it in so long, maybe it's 4 times, try that"

She did, then that's what she called me!
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Old 08-23-2016, 10:48 PM   #2
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Hahaha.. priceless!
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:09 AM   #3
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Blonde?
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:28 AM   #4
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Blonde?
afirmative
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Old 08-24-2016, 01:05 PM   #5
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Sounds like gerbils to me.
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Old 08-24-2016, 01:14 PM   #6
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afirmative
Let me guess, She's in her 3rd yr as a sophomore & she's studying to be a Pediatrician because she really loves animals .
: Thanx:
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Old 08-24-2016, 03:41 PM   #7
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The way I heard it, it was "If you say Gullible really slowly it sounds like oranges." My daughter then said "Oranges" really slowly and brightened and exclaimed, "Why, it DOES!"

When I was a tenth grade science teacher I had a surfer girl in class and I remarked casually that the word "gullible" was no longer in the dictionary. She said, "Really?!?" and I tried to find a dictionary in my desk to show (?) her. Not finding one, I wrote a pass for her and a friend to go to one of the English classes to go see - I sent her to a joker English teacher pal of mine, of course. After she left, I collapsed and confessed to the class what I had done: "I don't believe it - I actually did it!" She returned a few minutes later, spitting nails... I don't thing I helped things with my victory dance.

No, I'm not a teacher any more.
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Old 08-24-2016, 06:20 PM   #8
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The way I heard it, it was "If you say Gullible really slowly it sounds like oranges." My daughter then said "Oranges" really slowly and brightened and exclaimed, "Why, it DOES!"

When I was a tenth grade science teacher I had a surfer girl in class and I remarked casually that the word "gullible" was no longer in the dictionary. She said, "Really?!?" and I tried to find a dictionary in my desk to show (?) her. Not finding one, I wrote a pass for her and a friend to go to one of the English classes to go see - I sent her to a joker English teacher pal of mine, of course. After she left, I collapsed and confessed to the class what I had done: "I don't believe it - I actually did it!" She returned a few minutes later, spitting nails... I don't thing I helped things with my victory dance.

No, I'm not a teacher any more.
I used to work at a Gel Coat processing plant...
We'd pour large vats of processed gel coat off into 55 gal drums. When we would near the end of the vat, we'd tell the new guy there looked like about 80 gallons left and send him to another department for a "drum stretcher"... Because it wasn't going to fit in a 55gal drum.

Everyone was in on it, and they'd send him to another department or tell him the last place they saw it or go ask so and so if they'd seen it.

Usually about 3 or 4 hours later, the new guy would catch on! Some were faster than others
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Old 08-24-2016, 06:24 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Stu & Filo. T View Post
Let me guess, She's in her 3rd yr as a sophomore & she's studying to be a Pediatrician because she really loves animals .
: Thanx:
Why are you yelling that?

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.

The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"

In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"

The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.

In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.

The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
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Old 08-24-2016, 09:39 PM   #10
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I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
Did they get hit by a convoy of buses headed to Arizona for the First Annual SkooliePalooza while laying sod ACROSS the street?????

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Old 11-28-2016, 07:36 PM   #11
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I was in printing most of my working life and we would send the noob in to look for a paper stretcher or a box of halftone dots, but my favorite was while mixing ink tell the noob the reason warm red ink got its name because it got reall warm when being mixed. " here put your hand over it to feel" they put their hand over and then we would smash their hand into the ink..its not easy coming off..lol those were the days..
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Old 11-28-2016, 07:55 PM   #12
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I was in printing most of my working life and we would send the noob in to look for a paper stretcher or a box of halftone dots, but my favorite was while mixing ink tell the noob the reason warm red ink got its name because it got reall warm when being mixed. " here put your hand over it to feel" they put their hand over and then we would smash their hand into the ink..its not easy coming off..lol those were the days..
I've got a co-worker that's extremely spastic..... More so than I've ever seen!!!
Anyway, had a customer come in saying she wanted a certain color of ink on a shirt... Think LSU purple. When we actually ordered it, it was named Tiger Frog Purple

So anyway, she brings a container in and I dab a spot on her work order and run it through the oven to set the Plastisol ink... Well, boss didn't want to order a $90 gallon for so few of shirts...

Co-worker says "with all the ink we have back there, I can match the color"

This picture was 4 hours later!
Ended up ordering the gallon after boss tried for 2 hours to match the color.
Notice the dots on the paper?!?!
Before it was over, he cut out her swatch and stapled it to a second page!


I think I pee'd a little from laughing so hard!

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Old 11-28-2016, 08:41 PM   #13
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Famous last words " i can match that"! Or "Pantone book?"
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Old 12-04-2016, 08:52 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by milkmania View Post
Called me an a$$hole today!

I told her "if you say gullible 3 times real fast, it sounds like Oranges"

She did it.... And said "no, it doesn't"

I said "I haven't done it in so long, maybe it's 4 times, try that"

She did, then that's what she called me!
The gf just did it twice. First time was four or five times and she said it sounded like golem. Then she did it again slower and 3 times. I kept the flat straight faced stare and about 5 seconds later ... "I hate you!!" Best earned slap I've had in awhile.
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Old 12-04-2016, 08:58 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by milkmania View Post
I used to work at a Gel Coat processing plant...
We'd pour large vats of processed gel coat off into 55 gal drums. When we would near the end of the vat, we'd tell the new guy there looked like about 80 gallons left and send him to another department for a "drum stretcher"... Because it wasn't going to fit in a 55gal drum.

Everyone was in on it, and they'd send him to another department or tell him the last place they saw it or go ask so and so if they'd seen it.

Usually about 3 or 4 hours later, the new guy would catch on! Some were faster than others
Sign me up; I'm your guy!! I went to Larry, he sent to Bill, who sent me to Joe, ... Finally found out it was sent out for repair.

At least that's what I'm going to tell you. Meanwhile in a dark conference room I'm going to have a nice 3 hr nap.
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Old 12-04-2016, 10:29 PM   #16
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The gf just did it twice. First time was four or five times and she said it sounded like golem. Then she did it again slower and 3 times. I kept the flat straight faced stare and about 5 seconds later ... "I hate you!!" Best earned slap I've had in awhile.

Good stuff!!!

It also helps if they know what gullible means
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Old 12-05-2016, 05:53 AM   #17
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Way back when I was an Air Force cop, we used to send the newbs over to the flight chief for a hundred yards of flightline. Or the Minuteman missile maintenance guys would go down into the Launcher Equipment Building (housing a YUUGE diesel generator) and ask everyone if they wanted a soda, after shoving a bunch of cans in their overalls. Usually most amusing results would happen
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