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Old 01-22-2010, 03:25 PM   #11
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

I guess I got lucky in several aspects. I already had the bus before my gf came along. In fact it was HER idea to go ressurect the bus from sinking away into my uncles sandy soil at his place. I had talked about wanting to go get it some day but this and then that. Finally one day SHE sugested "hey lets go look at it and see what all it will take to get it running and back on the road". Last summer we did just that and in a couple hours had it fired up and moving under its own power. She thinks its cool and the fact that shes a school bus driver here I guess doesn't hurt either!!
Shes not afraid of getting dirty. And somehow sometimes she ends up getting dirtier than I do when we work on stuff together.
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Old 01-23-2010, 01:41 PM   #12
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

Not an issue here...Liz was as enthusiastic about this as I was.

She has mentioned the next bus will have power steering, though!
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Old 01-23-2010, 02:37 PM   #13
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

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Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
Not an issue here...Liz was as enthusiastic about this as I was.

She has mentioned the next bus will have power steering, though!
Lucky you!!

I thought I was starting to sway her then she kicked my hopes and dreams down the drain.


Chris
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Old 03-12-2010, 03:18 PM   #14
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

If she is against the bus,ask her what she doesn't like about the bus and why. Was she in on the decision to buy the bus? Or did you just buy it without consulting her? Is she concerned about the money - the investment in the bus. Is she doing without because of the bus? What about decorating it? Get her involved in the color choices of the bus. Ask her opinion. Does she like camping? I love camping. If I had to do all the work, I would hate camping; but my hubby does all the cooking when we are out camping. Maybe, she resents the time you spend on the bus. My hubby and I talk about everything when it comes to the bus - but that's just me. That kind of stuff interests me, besides we have outgrown our camper. Ask her and listen to her ( it's called conversation ) . She just might come around later.
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Old 03-12-2010, 04:37 PM   #15
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

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Originally Posted by mightybus
Just politely say " That'll be enough of that bad attitude Mrs." "you're just going to have to lose the bad attitude."
Ha! If I ever said this to my wife, she would consider me the 'bad attitude' and she may lose me!!!
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Old 03-13-2010, 12:43 AM   #16
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

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Ha! If I ever said this to my wife, she would consider me the 'bad attitude' and she may lose me!!!
She might "accidently" leave you in a rest stop! I only did that once and it just just a coincidence that David had been bugging be about my driving or rather how fast I was driving. That's my story and I;m sticking to it!
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Old 03-13-2010, 01:21 AM   #17
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

I guess I have it easy...after my wife spent the afternoon sanding the outside of the bus getting ready for primer, I found her sitting in the bus chilling out and wanting to take it out and spend the weekend in it. I just had to remind her that it is still March and we live in Canada...oh, and the bus has no insulation or heater in it yet.
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Old 03-13-2010, 01:31 PM   #18
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

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...I just had to remind her that it is still March and we live in Canada...oh, and the bus has no insulation or heater in it yet.
Shared warmth???
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Old 03-15-2010, 12:15 PM   #19
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

I bought my bus about 7 months before I broke it out to the little lady. I hid it at a local rv storage (two blocks from the house) for months, and snuck away to work on it when I could. When I finally told her (and she dosn't swear often) she asked "are you a F****ng idiot? Then she would'nt let me bring it home. I finally did, and worked on it throughout the summer, and got a lot of the interior done. When she finally came out and looked at it, inside and out, she started warming up to the idea. Now she is involved with the color and decorating aspect. She says most of it is built for a man, but she can live with it.
Some things I stressed were:
* I'm at home working on a project, not drinking in a bar everynight and coming home to slap the family around.
* We both have hobbies that each of us enjoy and alot money monthly for those hobbies. This is mine for now.
* The difference in safety and cost between a self converted bus (That is done right) and a 150,000 plus class A
* We both require time alone now and again. I can do this, still be productive and be right out the back door.
* I could sit on my nuts, watch TV and ask for you to get me another cold one. Instead I'm doing something creative. Though I still ask her to get me another cold one
* It will give me a warm place to sleep in case I'm ever in the "Dog House"
*You fill in your own specifics.
I would say conversation is an important key. Good luck with your venture and hope she comes around, or at least let's you finish the build and drive it around. Maybe she'll get curious enough to come along and maybe enjoy it.
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Old 03-15-2010, 01:12 PM   #20
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Re: How did you get the wife/GF on board?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thesaltydog24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jarlaxle
Not an issue here...Liz was as enthusiastic about this as I was.

She has mentioned the next bus will have power steering, though!
Lucky you!!

I thought I was starting to sway her then she kicked my hopes and dreams down the drain.


Chris
Aww! That's so sad!

I was actually in the same situation not long ago. I thought it was all over. The whole bus idea had been squashed. I was really bummed/depressed. But as it turned out, my wife just needed time to let the idea sink in; and there needed to be some negotiation about the size of the bus. I think a large part of these dilemmas is the nature of your relationship and how you communicate. My wife and I have different decision making styles: she takes a long time, and I want to decide quickly and move ahead.

She really views this as "my" project, and sometimes grumbles when I need her help with something, but to one of Papa Bear's points, at least I'm at home engaged in productive activity instead of out partying with the guys. Also, my last obsession was motorcycles, so at least this one is safer.

Finally, my wife and I each have traits that the other finds annoying and interests that are not shared. She knows I have a need to build/fix stuff, and I know these projects are often of little or no interest to her. The same thing applies in reverse with some of her interests. As the bus takes shape she is a little more engaged and interested, but she will never share my level of enthusiasm. One thing that helps is that we each enjoy time to ourselves, and so long as my bus work doesn't interfere with family stuff, there is no conflict there. Most of my work is done at night after the kids are asleep. By that hour my wife wants to have some time to herself, and has little energy, but after a cup of coffee I usually get my second wind and I'm ready to head out and get some work done.

So overall I think it's a matter of finding out what it is about the bus idea that is problematic for the partner, and then see if a satisfactory compromise can be negotiated where everyone's needs get met.
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