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Abbott 06-02-2010 08:31 PM

Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
Subject: Labor Problems in Britain - Muslim rebellion

( Possible severe repercussions on this ! )

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this June from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs, (B.O.O.M.), responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.

General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace."

"Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting pension benefits, but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the union in the Northeast of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in our areas anyway."

A strike may not be necessary, however, as the number of suicide bombings has been decreasing lately. This has been attributed to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.

crazycal 06-02-2010 09:10 PM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
When I read the first paragraph, I thought you were daft. But then I read the second. :mrgreen:

Abbott 06-02-2010 09:20 PM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
Well, when it comes to suicide bombings B.O.O.M calls the shots ;)

Abbott 06-02-2010 09:35 PM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
That's the second most disgusting picture ever posted to this forum! ( But funny :) )

crazycal 06-02-2010 10:00 PM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
Smitty, that's hilarious. Disturbing picture though. :shock:

Hey Abbott, I'm afraid to ask what is the first.

Abbott 06-02-2010 10:08 PM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
LOL!!!!

crazycal 06-02-2010 10:17 PM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Redbear 06-03-2010 06:11 AM

Re: Labor problems in Brittian may spark a Muslim rebellion.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Abbott
"the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs, (B.O.O.M.)"

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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