Reluctant Spouse

[Otter]

Greetings!

I have looked for something on this topic through the search, and either I don'g know how to look for it, or it's not here yet.

My husband is SO not on board at all! I think it's partly because apparently I suck at giving a presentation. I should get power point...

Anyway, is there a post/ thread on how to get the spousal unit on board with getting a skoolie?

Thanks in advance!

[SassyLass]

I've never seen one, though I have seen mention of wives that needed to be convinced. You'll have to find out what it is he's afraid of/or doesn't like about them.

Curious- what is/are his objections? Cost? Time to convert? No experience? No ability/skills? Roughing it? Traveling? Lack of creature comforts? Reliability? Is he visualizing Cheech and Chong? Do you want to full-time travel while he wants to stay stationary?

From what I've seen, those opposed to the idea have never seen one that met with their sensibilities. It's usually a misconception of what is possible.

[HolyBus]

If he can afford a million+ dollar Prevost and he prefers the look of that plus the maintenance costs of that kind of bahemoth, let him get one. Have him check with dealers on annual maintenance costs.
Maybe he doesn't like highway travel, or experienced something as a kid? Maybe he is afraid people might see what goes on inside at night? Maybe he is afraid his friends won't approve? See if you can find out what the issue is without nagging him about it. I would do anything for my wife if she told me what she wants. Its been reciprical (sp?) for 35 years.

[Otter]

Well, honestly, I think he hates change. What I proposed to him was the fact that we could possibly be debt free by the start of next year if we went with my plan, and be free of this old crap heap of a house that needs more repair work than we'll ever be able to do ourselves. I even started off my presentation with the financial aspects, but...

He focused on (at least to "shut me up") was "Do you think we could live in a space that small with all these pets?"

While he has a point, we have taken most of these pets camping. In a canoe. In a tent. A 4 man low profile tent. I fail to see the problem... Especially when I read all the stuff other folks have said about RVing with pets.

Granted, we have a bit of a zoo, but the 2 birds are in cages already, the big dog doesn't move much, the little dog is... well... little, and there are 3 cats. The iguana is pretty accommodating, and the tarantula doesn't take up much room. If it came down to it, I have a friend who is a bird expert who could take them, but honestly...

We could build a wall and put a door on a mancave in the back, and even soundproof it for him. No pets allowed back there. Then, when he's being a pain, I could tell him to "Get in the back of the bus!"

I'm sure he has other issues, but I can't seem to get him to talk to me about it. Like I said, I think he hates change, honestly... even if that change would be WAAAY better than what the current status quo is.

[Otter]

How do these "Quick Replies" work? I don't know if SassyLass knows that last one was meant for her or not...

This one would be meant for HolyBus.

I don't think he likes the idea of living in an RV of any kind. I am wondering if maybe he's a closet claustrophobic. (see what I did there?)

[Otter]

I guess I'm asking if others had to poke/ prod/ convince their significant others at all, or it's just me?

[family wagon]

Originally Posted by Otter

How do these "Quick Replies" work? I don't know if SassyLass knows that last one was meant for her or not...

Hey! I just learned something new! (thanks for asking how the quick replies work) IMHO quick reply is for dashing off a quick one-liner or some such. You can use the "Quote" button if you want to quote the existing statements for context and then write your comment around it. Or -- the thing I just learned -- you can click "Multi-Quote" on several messages that you want to quote from, then click the "Post Reply" button and you'll get an edit box with quotes from each post that you clicked multi-quote on, as I did here. I'm ashamed of myself for not having figured this out long ago.... Also, in the advanced/normal post editor, there's a "preview post" button at the bottom of the edit area which you can use to see what your post looks like before committing to it.

Originally Posted by Otter

maybe he's a closet claustrophobic. (see what I did there?)

A closet would be a terrible place to be for a claustrophobe!

Originally Posted by Otter

I guess I'm asking if others had to poke/ prod/ convince their significant others at all, or it's just me?

Naw, not just you. My wife was uncomfortable with the insanity of buying a school bus for any purpose at first (our purposes are strictly RV, not full-time). Finally I found one and she ratified it. It wasn't until after she'd spent some time just sitting and talking in it, and we'd done one quick trip with little more than some of the seats removed, that she really warmed up to the possibilities.

Maybe you can make it easier to swallow by reducing it to a "just for fun" endeavor for now? Though if you're feeling any pinch from the house money pit, it could be a hard sell to take on a second, albeit smaller, money pit "just for fun."

[Polarweasel]

My wife went from cool to the idea of a bus a couple years ago to asking me a couple months ago if it was just a pipe dream or if we were really going to do it. I'd kept the idea percolating with periodic research (OK, periodic nerd safaris on here and various blogs!), but this was a dramatic shift. We're both tired of huge debts and being stuck in an expensive apartment, and we've each made stabs at minimalism lately. Two small kids make it simultaneously terrifying to contemplate and also very appealing to imagine road adventures as they get older.

One thing she asked me for was lots of pictures of conversions I like. I've got an Evernote notebook full of those, so I shared it with her. Pictures, and a test vacation in a rental RV, might be a good starting point.

[nat_ster]

I got a divorce, and found a new wife that is cool with the idea.

Nat

[claydbal]

Originally Posted by nat_ster

I got a divorce, and found a new wife that is cool with the idea.

Nat

lol , ive done that a few times.

[austin1989us]

That's a lot of living things to have in ~175 square feet. I understand your husband's apprehension.

[HolyBus]

Mine got sick of the work that it takes to keep up a house. We have had cars/trucks in the past that we worked on as projects. We did a list of expenses, monthly plus annual and repairs that the house takes. We figured our income and how much of that goes to the expenses. We then said, if we did away with the house, what expenses would go away and what would it cost to live in a bus. What would it cost to get the bus where we want it and maintain it. Gee, the bus is cheaper. That means we don't have to work our current jobs.
Things started making sense and it was just a matter of that sinking in.

[bansil]

big difference in Glamping with a Skoolie and Living in one, Wifey says no to living in one (working on that) she LOVES staying for a couple weeks now!
Actually lived in our Glamping machine for 7 or 8 weeks last summer when I was doing chemo, she did go home everyother Sunday to "check" on things and see her mom

So maybe start with Glamping and then see how he reacts to the metal tent at first?

Good luck

[SassyLass]

I see it!

(And thanks family bus for the tutorial- I've been trying to figure out that multi quote thing too- but how do you choose the quotes? I check the box, but can't seem to click anything to attach it?

Otter- That is a lot of animals, and you've got some that are quite temperature intolerant too... Hmmm... where are you located, and where do you plan to be when the weather is below tolerable for your birds, iguana and spider? They will require special consideration in your heating/cooling plans if too far north. I'm not trying to be discouraging, but rather help you plan for contingencies.... Lol

All in all, it looks like the guys have thrown out some great advice. I especially like the get a glamper idea (glamorous camping ICYDN) or just camping in a steel tent, especially if you are already campers. That _could_ be a good segue into a full-time conversion/conversation. Since space is a concern, I would definately keep your eyes on the 40 footers.

Even if you just strip out your starter bus and use it to haul camping gear and the fur babies, it would also give him time to get acclimated to the space too, especially if you will be abe to park it in your own yard (is your yard big/tall enough and does zoning allow it?)

One thing though- remember that the majority of school buses were built for lots of stop and go driving at low speeds. The "power package" (engine+transmission etc) of many of these buses was not designed for highway speeds, and some top-out as low as 45mph, and/or don't have the oomph for climbing hills. It all depends on who ordered what and their budget limitations. Some states also have higher minimum requirements. Activity buses usually do have better power-packages when it comes to highway speeds. Learn about this, and by all means don't get one of the 50 mph buses for your starter-bus unless hubby always drives slow on country roads! lol I imagine this would be a deal-breaker for most.

That cost-comparison of a house/skoolie idea is great too.

Someone once mentioned that they were able to live for about 1/3 the cost of their 'other life', so they split the extra left over cash - half went to bus conversion, and half went into a bus-savings account. Kind-of like a health savings plan. It was destined for the bus, but was for major infrequent expenses/maintenance/repairs like tires, tows, engine and tranny stuff- a rainy day bus fund.

Good luck with both of your conversions!

[family wagon]

Originally Posted by SassyLass

(And thanks family bus for the tutorial- I've been trying to figure out that multi quote thing too- but how do you choose the quotes? I check the box, but can't seem to click anything to attach it?

On my browser, when I click the multi-quote button, the button color darkens almost imperceptibly to show that it has been selected. Click once each on several of the multi-quote buttons, then click the "Post Reply" button at the top or bottom of the page. (not the "quick reply" nor "go advanced" buttons) That will take you to a new "Reply to Thread" page with the selected quotes already in the edit window.

[milkmania]

Originally Posted by nat_ster

I got a divorce, and found a new wife that is cool with the idea.

Nat

Headed to Craigslist now!
I'll keep ya posted

[c_hasbeen]

Try bribing with cold beer?

buy a bus, get a cooler and keep it stocked?
just saying is all

[Otter]

OMG, everyone here is awesome!

Well, yes, it is a lot of pets. The iguana is a veteran road trip camper, camping out of the canoe and tent camping for 20 years now. Honestly, this drafty, crapheap of a house is probably not as easy to keep air-conditioned / heated as a bus would. Plus, I included her needs in the plans.

We live in Texas (currently) near Houston. That's how we can keep tropical type critters in such a drafty, uninsulated house...

[HolyBus]

O.k. nobody else touched on this can of worms so I will...
Is there something special he likes that he has been wanting? Something that might make him want to do something nice for you?

[nat_ster]

Originally Posted by claydbal

lol , ive done that a few times.

If you don't have the same idea's, it makes sense to me.

Originally Posted by milkmania

Headed to Craigslist now!
I'll keep ya posted

Lol.

I'm looking forward to the updates.

Nat