Gillig Bus captures Bin Laden in Iraq

[Gilligs/Crowns and Parts]

Sometines I feel so blessed to be an owner of the world's finest bus, the fabled rear engine Gillig Transit Coach. "Why me?", I ask. Was I a saintly prophet who saved thousands of lives in a previos incarnation? Or just a guy who got lucky at the auction?

I would like to communicate with others whom God has blessed, those lucky few who he bestowed upon the indescribable bliss of being behind the wheel of one of these magnificent and long lived steeds; the bus for so many years. Crown tried, in vain, to imitate.......

Yes, Gillig, aka the Rolls Royce of schoolies.

(Crown lovers, eat your heart out.......as ,..... yes,.... we Gillig owners occasionally "rust out")

Although I do feel "compassion" for those who drive other buses, I try not to dwell on it. My Gillig runs so good that it starts when I get within fifteen feet of it, holds its breath for months just so I don't have to hear any buzzers, and once assaulted an AmTran bus who was talking trash to me at a rest stop.

I get an honest forty seven miles per gallon while idling, and triple that on the Interstate at a consistent 94-96 mph. I drive about 375,000 miles a year, and only fill up at Easter and Christmas, and even then, my bus runs well on a mix of 80% water, 15% Pabst Blue Ribbon beer and 5% dirt. It is so powerful that I never learned how to downshift, -- I always just take off in 5th, and can climb the Grapevine in neutral if I need to.

(This is all true. Just ask any other of the Gillig "brethren" )

Right now my bus is in Afghanistan doing top secret work for a certain unnamed agency. It parachuted in on a "HALO" drop at 35,000 ft. and of course landed wheels down with the engine running.

I read that it jumped off the top of a C5A Galaxy a la the Space Shuttle (who by the way, my bus dated for a couple of years, but that's another story) but only after it won an arm wrestling match with an M1A1 Abrams, ate several Humvees, and took the controls of the plane when the pilot got airsick.

If you watch the nightly news, my bus is the one bus with the black beret, speaking fluent Arabic. (more details to come)

(The few......., the proud,...... the Gillig owners.)

Quite sincerely,

Patrick Young

(From our temple in Hayward, California,-- to us, holier than Mecca, Medina, or Jerusalem, where the Gillig Brothers (with great difficulty) gave birth to the first of the tribe.

[Gilligs/Crowns and Parts]

Hey there fellow Gillig owner

Well, I guess we're both the luckiest guys on earth, as we drive the "Bugatti of Buses" the unequalled Gillig Coach.

I took my Gillig to Nepal a few years back, had to haul some Sherpas up Everest when they couldn't hack the altitude. (Lucky I had a turbo)

I got my Gillig in a swap with some long haired guy with tattoos named Tommy Lee. I traded him straight across for my ex, Pamela Anderson, who for some reason only liked double 40 footers.

My bus is a 1961, with 4,158,000 original miles. Tommy paid $11.00 for it at auction. Still haven't had to do anything to it except check the air pressure in the tires, and add a half pint of oil every other leap year.

Yeah, I now what you mean about Gillig's legendary pulling power. One time there was a freight train near the big Gillig temple in Hayward, pulling about 1500 cars of pig iron and depleted uranium. Apparently the right rear wheel had a blow out and it derailed.

The engineer saw the Gillig logo on the front of my bus, and recognizing the unrivalled pulling power and massive torque, waved me over. Always willing to help those in need, me and some of the old timers at the Santa Fe yard swapped out my Goodyears for some 52" steel wheels , welded a bracket onto the massive Giillig rear bumper, and I hauled the load to Brazil and back,......twice. I got paid 23,000 dollars an hour for my time, and I think they got the better of the deal.

Another time I was heading out near Utah on I-80, hittin' abot 130 mph, so I shifted into 4th and punched it. Wouldn't you know there were a couple of state troopers with a radar gun, in a black and white Shelby Cobra.

I yanked the wheel hard to the right, and did a couple of 360s to scare 'em off, but they were on me like a Crown owner at a Free Differential Conversion workshop. I knew I had to think fast, so I double clutched and threw it down into Granny Gear at about 110 mph. (lucky I was in a Gillig, a lot of buses won't take this kind of punishment)

The troopers hit the back of my (solid steel, not aluminum bodied) Gillig and exploded in a fireball so big I thought the Army had resumed nuclear testing. Knowing their lives were in my hands, I thought quickly (easy to do in the spacious, comfortable roominess of the Gillig cab) and threw the bus into a long sideways slide, then used the easily accessible dash mounted door opening lever (not buttons like some other buses who I am too polite to mention) to open the TWO (not one) entry doors, and the vaccuum sucked the troopers in, simultaneously extinguishing the flames and saving their lives.....I tell ya, it was nip and tuck there for a moment.

(Later on in the day, 3,500 vestial virgins from the Mormom Tablernacle Choir did a command performance for me, but that's another story.....)

Yeah, you're right guy, those Gillgs are SOME buses. I'm driving mine to Antarctica next month for the great Penguin Cook Off. Had a great time last year, but I had to pull out a couple of D-9 CATs that got stuck in the snow. National Geographic wanted to do a cover story on the Gillig, but, that's another story....

And hey, give those Crown owners a break. They already suffer enough at a continuous 59-60 mph.

Happy bussin'

Guy Fortunato
Gillig bus #123
451 Incredible Drive
Powerfuldependable, WA
63685



(Not written by)

[Gilligs/Crowns and Parts]

Hey there Gillig fan

Well of course you are 100% right about the Giilig bus. I had a friend that bought a "non-Gillig" bus, and they say it led to a paranoid schizophrenic colonal spasm type outburst of despair.

But my question is, WHERE did you learn to write with such terrific wit and skill? Did the Gillig bus you drive lead you to intellectual greatness? Did the rugged construction and quality of the GILLIG lead you to the rugged masculine individualism that radiates from every line of your brilliant prose??

Should I GET A GILLIG?? will it work for me?


In deep admiration


An appreciative admirer.

(not written by Patrick young, or anyone else who looks like him)

[Gilligs/Crowns and Parts]

Hello Grasshopper

In answer to your questions:

1. YES, by all means get a Gillig. Once you've made love to Sophia Loren, Whoopi Goldberg will no longer have the same luster.

2. Yes, ownership of a Gillig bus will be the fulfillment of all your dreams. Expect a promotion at work, a better looking (and more passionate) wife, signifcant weight loss without dieting or exercise, and hopefully a deep and profound spritual awakening.

Don't forget to carry extra belts and hoses.

Guy Fortunato's cousin
Beirut beer with a whiskey chaser






(in no way related to...........)

[Dan-O]

Funny stuff... I'm sold... My next bus will be a Gillig

[Eric von Kleist]

Now why would anybody buy a bus named after a sitcom about people stranded on an island? :P

[Roasting8]

That's funny; stranded on an island.