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Old 10-17-2008, 12:38 PM   #1
Bus Geek
Elliot Naess's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Clearlake, Northern California
Posts: 2,512
Year: 1992
Coachwork: Blue Bird
Chassis: TC-2000 Frt Eng, Tranny:MT643
Engine: 5,9 Cummins
Rated Cap: 84
No! Not that kind of ga...(BOOOM!)

All right, I知 going to straighten everybody out, once and for all.

And to get us started, I知 going to tell a joke. Now... this happens to be an ethnic joke, and I must point out that ethnic jokes are often rude and cruel, and should generally only be told by people who themselves belong to the target group. I, for instance, can tell jokes that make fun of Norwegians, because I am Norwegian myself. What no-one should ever do, is tell an ethnic joke with derogatory intent. And to be absolutely certain, I知 telling the following joke for the sole reason that it serves to illustrate the point of this entire post. No offense intended whatsoever.

A little bit of background is in order. This is well known, but for the record; Jewish people have been picked on rather more than their fair share in this world.
Thus, it stands to reason that a Jew would be on guard against discrimination -- such as being refused service at a filling station.

Here goes:

A Jewish family was traveling by automobile and pulled into a filling station to refuel.
The attendant came out, bright-eyed and eager to please. Being a groovy young man, hip to the latest slang, he thought of automobile fuel as 堵o-juice. Being new on the job, he had not yet established the usual pump-jockey habit of asking 擢ill池 up? So he walked up the customer and inquired cheerfully... 笛uice?
The Jewish customer looked disappointedly at the attendant and replied: 添es -- don稚 we get no gas?

A tragic story indeed. And something like this may even have happened, which makes it even worse. In this particular example, of course, the misunderstanding was quickly and cordially cleared up. But the story serves to illustrate the confusion over all the different words for 堵asoline.

So.... We are gathered here today... to begin calling things by their proper names, so that confusion and misunderstanding may be avoided.


Natural Gas. (The gaseous fuel that is piped into many American homes for heating and cooking.)

Propane (gas).

Hydrogen (gas).

Diesel (oil or fuel).

Home Heating Oil.

Nitrogen (gas).

Inert (gas(es)).

Intestinal Gas.

Methane (gas).

Wood Gas.

And so on.

The examples of mix-ups are numerous. Here are two examples:

According to a newspaper report a few years ago, a lady tried to refuel her gasoline-powered automobile from her home痴 Natural Gas supply line -- and burned down the house.

Automobile suspension dampers (commonly and incorrectly called 都hock absorbers) are sometimes filled with an inert gas (usually nitrogen) in addition to the traditional hydraulic oil, and some people call these 堵as shocks. Some years ago, a newspaper reporter apparently wanted to be very correct, without benefit of knowing what the heck he was talking about, and managed to put in print the phrase 堵asoline-filled shock absorbers.

And of course, these days, a quick read thru any of the automobile magazines will yield wild confusion regarding all the new and future fuels -- some gaseous and some not.

So... my plea is this: Let痴 all say 堵asoline, when that is what we are talking about. And be equally precise with other gases and fuels and... yes, for the younger fellows among us... flatulence. (Anybody remember the TV ad that ended with the line 敵ood one, dude!? Was that for real, or did I dream it?)


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