TIME TO TAKE A BREAK!
1st, tell us where you're located. Class Bs shouldn't be that difficult to find, but a decent Cut-a-way conversion isn't either. You may have to travel a bit, to get one, but they ARE out there. The Cut A way isn't much different than a full size van, save for the loading door. WalMart fluid and tire changes, and your on your way. Most all other things can be handled by a good mechanic. You'll need one for anything you drive. (except your bike)
2nd, The bed CAN BE a no brainer. Put a box spring and a mattress on top of a few sturdy boxes, and bingo. You have a bed with storage under it.
3rd, Home Depot and Lowe's have great starter "Drop Boxes"(buckets) to handle your 'stool' needs (both for in closet use, AND for an extra place to sit at dinner) The closet is just an added value option for you.
4th, a portable , or semi installed cooktop, along with another smaller bucket or can, would easily fit into a 2nd hand store desk, or dresser. Add a portable water tank and hand pump, and SHAZAM...you have your a starter model skoolie. Your wish list is complete, and Motel 6 is a thing of the past.
Don't over think this stuff. These are supposed to be fun.
Happy New Years!