plexus_nexus
Member
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2022
- Posts
- 15
Hello all,
I'm a thirtysomething unmarried & childless male thinking about solo traveling around the country (with my two cats). I've done some bicycle touring and backpacking, but want to do something full-time that is more fulfilling than the past several years I've spent focusing on an office-job career. I have always felt the most alive when I am engrossed in my passions, hobbies, and independent.
So, I've been thinking about a school bus conversion because of the living space and the creative process it involves. I should have enough money to buy a bus and convert it based on a $35k estimate (potentially higher), as well as have living expenses for the first year-ish. I am hoping that I can finish this before July. I know that's a short timeframe, but I am not currently working and I would hire someone to work alongside me with more experience. All of my time and energy can be put into this project since I have no other responsibilities at this time.
Ok... next is the TMI part about my family and mental health. I'd rather not rely on support from people online, but I don't have many other places to go for this type of support.
I've been struggling with some major mental health problems that have been the worst they've ever been, obviously in part due to this pandemic. I've seen numerous therapists since adolescence and have taken countless meds for bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety. The past two years I've sought varying levels of intensive outpatient mental health program treatment, as well as individual psychiatry and therapy. This has cost me thousands and thousands of dollars, even with insurance, and yet my life has been unraveling more and more each passing month. Things are coming to a head and I have to make a decision about how to live according to my individual needs and values.
Most of the well-intended support I'm getting from friends and therapists can be summarized, "first create stable structure in your life through working hard and saving, take the infrequent small vacation, build up your CV, have good references, be debt-free, work out and eat well, and then think about what fulfills you." I can't emphasizes how much this perspective has not worked for me and feels backwards. I appreciate those who are trying to be supportive, but there is often a rigidity and contrariness in their advice that no other approaches to life are feasible or rational. I don't want to be too political, but capitalism does a great job of dividing people against one another in order to advance its ideals, rather than promote human wellbeing.
Regarding family, I brought up the skoolie idea to my mom to see if she'd be supportive. She and my stepfather live on large acreage in Arizona. My stepdad is a solar engineer and she is an architect and designer. I asked her if she would allow me to work on the bus on their property and be able to use my stepdad's tools, with his permission (he'd almost certainly have said yes). It seemed like a nice opportunity to share a creative process with my creative mother and to spend time around one another as she is getting older where those opportunities are becoming less frequent. I thought it a good chance she'd say no, but at least show some level of support, even if only emotional. Instead, during the span of a 13-minute phone call, she caused years of damage to our relationship. She said that I'm "not a DIY-type person" despite me working tirelessly (and successfully) to remodel and sell the home of my ex so she wouldn't go bankrupt paying for her mortgage her ex husband left her with. My mother told me she doesn't want to accommodate my vegan diet (twice a year for holidays is too much I guess?), despite me never asking for any material support from them other than parking and tool usage. She made jabs at my past mental health behavior surrounding malaise, despite not having lived with her since high school and the only behavioral damage I've caused from behavior like this has been to myself.
Suffice to say, this was extremely painful to hear. My mother is in the process of going through testing for a heart condition, which is painful to see happen to her and I empathize with her worries about her health. But, my mother is also a narcissist who I do not believe has ever given a true apology in her life. She's a Fox News watching boomer woman who can't fathom the idea that anyone else might also be having difficult life experiences. Talking to her this last time made me realize she's a huge part of why I see myself as lazy or not sufficiently caring towards others, despite most evidence showing I'm exactly not that way having gone to college, got a good paying job, had relationships, etc.
Therefore, I've decided to cut contact with her, at least temporarily. I'm doing this with to my father, as well, who the last words I heard from him were shouting expletives at me for something that doesn't really have anything to do with him, but his anxieties and irrationality makes him think it does. Ultimately, I think my parents are enraged that I quit my job to focus on my mental health, even though I haven't relied on them for a cent in over a decade.
So, jobless with no emotional support from family and minimal support from friends outside of telling me to go back to work, plus my mental health state, have not put me into a great place in my life. If I do a skoolie conversion, I will be emptying my retirement. I know that is a major decision with a lot of consequences to my older self when he arrives one day, but my retirement doesn't matter much if there's a good likelihood I won't make it there. I don't want to be morbid and I'm not in a state where that is a huge risk, but it's a constant threat I have to worry about nonetheless (bipolar disorder reduces life expectancy in the ballpark of 10-20 years--the more you know!!). Stability through stable income and a stable living location has worked, to a point, but it's chiseled away what makes me happy--things like travel, meeting people, accomplishing huge tasks from scratch, showing love and kindness towards others, etc.
Tldr version and why I'm here: am I off-my-rocker for thinking I can do something like this on a $35k budget, bus, labor, and materials included, by doing it myself full-time and by paying one other person part-time? My mom rejecting my proposition to working on a bus on her property has probably added $5-10k to the budget, or more. I'll now need to find a lot to work on it, will need to rent a truck to haul materials, will need to buy or rent my own tools, and will have to buy someone else to buy solar panels from other than my stepdad who has them lying around everywhere.
If it this project does go overbudget, I can find a way to manage, even if it requires working part-time for a while. I can rough it for a bit, too. There's always gyms for showers if I don't have one ready. There's always ways to cook food that don't require a full-kitchen. etc. etc. I'm not necessarily here for a, "go for it regardless of any risk!," but I'm also not here for the tired advice of just putting my nose to the grind until I have more money (it's almost always about money) to create a life I actually want to live.
Thanks for reading, those who did!! A big first step is seeking those who are qualified to offer advice and support.
I'm a thirtysomething unmarried & childless male thinking about solo traveling around the country (with my two cats). I've done some bicycle touring and backpacking, but want to do something full-time that is more fulfilling than the past several years I've spent focusing on an office-job career. I have always felt the most alive when I am engrossed in my passions, hobbies, and independent.
So, I've been thinking about a school bus conversion because of the living space and the creative process it involves. I should have enough money to buy a bus and convert it based on a $35k estimate (potentially higher), as well as have living expenses for the first year-ish. I am hoping that I can finish this before July. I know that's a short timeframe, but I am not currently working and I would hire someone to work alongside me with more experience. All of my time and energy can be put into this project since I have no other responsibilities at this time.
Ok... next is the TMI part about my family and mental health. I'd rather not rely on support from people online, but I don't have many other places to go for this type of support.
I've been struggling with some major mental health problems that have been the worst they've ever been, obviously in part due to this pandemic. I've seen numerous therapists since adolescence and have taken countless meds for bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety. The past two years I've sought varying levels of intensive outpatient mental health program treatment, as well as individual psychiatry and therapy. This has cost me thousands and thousands of dollars, even with insurance, and yet my life has been unraveling more and more each passing month. Things are coming to a head and I have to make a decision about how to live according to my individual needs and values.
Most of the well-intended support I'm getting from friends and therapists can be summarized, "first create stable structure in your life through working hard and saving, take the infrequent small vacation, build up your CV, have good references, be debt-free, work out and eat well, and then think about what fulfills you." I can't emphasizes how much this perspective has not worked for me and feels backwards. I appreciate those who are trying to be supportive, but there is often a rigidity and contrariness in their advice that no other approaches to life are feasible or rational. I don't want to be too political, but capitalism does a great job of dividing people against one another in order to advance its ideals, rather than promote human wellbeing.
Regarding family, I brought up the skoolie idea to my mom to see if she'd be supportive. She and my stepfather live on large acreage in Arizona. My stepdad is a solar engineer and she is an architect and designer. I asked her if she would allow me to work on the bus on their property and be able to use my stepdad's tools, with his permission (he'd almost certainly have said yes). It seemed like a nice opportunity to share a creative process with my creative mother and to spend time around one another as she is getting older where those opportunities are becoming less frequent. I thought it a good chance she'd say no, but at least show some level of support, even if only emotional. Instead, during the span of a 13-minute phone call, she caused years of damage to our relationship. She said that I'm "not a DIY-type person" despite me working tirelessly (and successfully) to remodel and sell the home of my ex so she wouldn't go bankrupt paying for her mortgage her ex husband left her with. My mother told me she doesn't want to accommodate my vegan diet (twice a year for holidays is too much I guess?), despite me never asking for any material support from them other than parking and tool usage. She made jabs at my past mental health behavior surrounding malaise, despite not having lived with her since high school and the only behavioral damage I've caused from behavior like this has been to myself.
Suffice to say, this was extremely painful to hear. My mother is in the process of going through testing for a heart condition, which is painful to see happen to her and I empathize with her worries about her health. But, my mother is also a narcissist who I do not believe has ever given a true apology in her life. She's a Fox News watching boomer woman who can't fathom the idea that anyone else might also be having difficult life experiences. Talking to her this last time made me realize she's a huge part of why I see myself as lazy or not sufficiently caring towards others, despite most evidence showing I'm exactly not that way having gone to college, got a good paying job, had relationships, etc.
Therefore, I've decided to cut contact with her, at least temporarily. I'm doing this with to my father, as well, who the last words I heard from him were shouting expletives at me for something that doesn't really have anything to do with him, but his anxieties and irrationality makes him think it does. Ultimately, I think my parents are enraged that I quit my job to focus on my mental health, even though I haven't relied on them for a cent in over a decade.
So, jobless with no emotional support from family and minimal support from friends outside of telling me to go back to work, plus my mental health state, have not put me into a great place in my life. If I do a skoolie conversion, I will be emptying my retirement. I know that is a major decision with a lot of consequences to my older self when he arrives one day, but my retirement doesn't matter much if there's a good likelihood I won't make it there. I don't want to be morbid and I'm not in a state where that is a huge risk, but it's a constant threat I have to worry about nonetheless (bipolar disorder reduces life expectancy in the ballpark of 10-20 years--the more you know!!). Stability through stable income and a stable living location has worked, to a point, but it's chiseled away what makes me happy--things like travel, meeting people, accomplishing huge tasks from scratch, showing love and kindness towards others, etc.
Tldr version and why I'm here: am I off-my-rocker for thinking I can do something like this on a $35k budget, bus, labor, and materials included, by doing it myself full-time and by paying one other person part-time? My mom rejecting my proposition to working on a bus on her property has probably added $5-10k to the budget, or more. I'll now need to find a lot to work on it, will need to rent a truck to haul materials, will need to buy or rent my own tools, and will have to buy someone else to buy solar panels from other than my stepdad who has them lying around everywhere.
If it this project does go overbudget, I can find a way to manage, even if it requires working part-time for a while. I can rough it for a bit, too. There's always gyms for showers if I don't have one ready. There's always ways to cook food that don't require a full-kitchen. etc. etc. I'm not necessarily here for a, "go for it regardless of any risk!," but I'm also not here for the tired advice of just putting my nose to the grind until I have more money (it's almost always about money) to create a life I actually want to live.
Thanks for reading, those who did!! A big first step is seeking those who are qualified to offer advice and support.
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